Life
by Qwi-Xux
Summary: A glimpse of Tifa's life four years after AC. Definite Cloti. COMPLETE
1. Life

**A/N: I'm sure there a million little fics like this, but it was in my head and I had to write it. Though admittedly, this is not at all what I intended to write. The beginning was, but then it went in a direction that I did not want it to go, much to my exasperation. Darn characters for taking control of the story. ;)**

**This is really my first attempt at writing Cloud/Tifa--and romantic Cloud/Tifa at that. **

**Disclaimer: Do you even have to question whether I own Final Fantasy?**

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_**Life**_

I heard Cloud come home, just like I always did, even though he tried to be so quiet. He knows I'm a light sleeper--because let's face it: when you're a martial artist and you've been through everything I have, your mind is trained to wake at the tiniest noises. It could be what saves your life.

I remained in my bed, curled onto my side, and barely heard the faint click of the door downstairs closing. The jingle of keys came next, and then footsteps across the bar. They grew louder as they reached the stairs and ascended them, until they stopped right outside my door.

I knew he was looking at me, reassuring himself of my presence as I reassured myself that he was home. Even though he had come home without fail for the last four years, I needed to know he was safe, that he had made it back without incident.

After a long pause, the footsteps moved closer, followed by the creak of leather from his clothes as he crouched down beside the bed. Without opening my eyes, I opened my arms, and smiled when he pressed his forehead against my stomach, wrapping one arm around my waist. I folded my arms around his shoulders, burying one hand in his hair and breathing a sigh of contentment. He smelled like fresh air and grass and dirt from riding around on his bike all day.

Cloud gave a sigh of his own, and I knew just from the kind of sigh it was, and from the tension in his shoulders, that he had not had a very good day. I tightened my hold on him and ran my fingers slowly through his hair. Bit by bit, his muscles eased, and he turned his head so his ear was resting on my stomach. I finally cracked my eyes open and found him looking at me, tired and a little pale. I frowned slightly at him, searching his face for a hint of what might have happened on his daily deliveries. Maybe he had met a monster on the road, or had a bad experience with a customer.

He reached up and brushed his hand over my face, silently telling me not to frown, that he was all right. Leaving his fingers resting on my cheek, he sighed again and closed his eyes. "Tifa?"

"Mm?"

"I'm going to limit the delivery service for a while. Only take jobs around Edge."

I blinked at him, sure that I knew why he had made this decision, and not terribly surprised by it. "Cloud…I can take care of myself."

"I know." His eyes opened again, pinning me with their intensity. "But--" His arm wrapped more tightly around me. His next words were interrupted when he abruptly jerked his face away from my stomach, staring at it in fascination. "What--?"

A grin slipped over my face at his startled expression. "You felt that?"

Wonderingly, he splayed his hand across the side of my belly. A moment later, he felt it as the little life growing inside me bounced against his palm. A life so very, very small that he had not yet been able to feel it move, though I had been experiencing it for several weeks, growing stronger with each passing day. "Tifa…"

I let my hand trail out of his hair and down his cheek. "Cloud?"

"Maybe I should just quit the delivery service altogether for a while."

I laughed. "You love the delivery service." I knew him so well, knew that even though he loved our family, he still needed time alone. Time to race Fenrir down dusty roads. Time to just _be_.

He spoke words that would have once been difficult for him to say, but which came out now without any hesitation. "Not as much as I love you. I want you to be safe." His hand tensed on my stomach. "Both of you."

"I know." He was worried because I was showing now, worried that my fighting skills would be slowed more as the baby grew, that my reactions would get slower. I wasn't sure whether this would be the case or not; so far, my reactions were just fine.

Cloud didn't look reassured; on the contrary, his worried eyes met mine, and I could read his thoughts there.

"Don't worry," I whispered. "We're all right."

His eyes searched mine for a moment, and I knew that my words were useless. He would always worry. Years of sharing a home with him had long taught me that. "I'm still going to stay around Edge for now."

I nodded once and moved my hand behind his head, pulling him close enough that I could kiss him. He returned it, slowly at first, like he usually did, as though even after a year and a half of marriage, he wasn't quite sure he was allowed to be this happy, and then more deeply and vigorously, drawing me into his arms and running his hands down my arms. When we finally pulled apart, I was sitting in his lap, burying my face in the crook of his neck. "Love you," I whispered, and then promptly yawned into him.

Cloud's arms tightened around me and he kissed the top of my head before leaning me back onto the pillow, a smile on his lips at my half-closed eyes. "Get some rest," he said quietly, and he rose to his feet, moving to the dresser to find some clean clothes so he could shower before coming to bed.

My eyes slowly drifted shut as he headed out the bedroom door. I heard him murmur, "Love you, too," before he stepped out into the hall. His footsteps moved on until they came to pause again, this time, I knew, in front of Marlene's bedroom door. He would be looking into her room, stuffed full of toys and drawings and everything pink, making sure she was in bed and hadn't done any sleepwalking, as she did occasionally. She had terrified us the first time we had found her missing from her bed, until we finally located her sound asleep on one of the seats in the bar.

I was half asleep by the time I heard him stop in front of Denzel's room. The faint murmur of voices reached my ears, and I knew that our son had probably awakened as soon as the front door had opened. I guess that's what I got for spending the last four years teaching him martial arts and all the habits that came with it.

I smiled to myself. We had been through so much, had fought so much to reach what had once seemed unattainable: being a family, being a _real _family. We had come in pieces, broken and bleeding, with a dream that had seemed so far out of reach--and we had struggled through so much to reach it.

Our struggles had been worth it. We were a real family. Maybe we had been from the very beginning, and it had just taken putting our shattered pieces back together before we really realized it.

I heard the sound of the water starting up, and I cracked my eyes open, still exhausted but thinking that maybe I would get up and go join my husband in the shower…

A wicked smile teased the corners of my mouth, and I swung out of bed in one smooth motion. Why not? I could stay awake a bit longer.

I crept out into the hallway, stepping past Denzel's door on the way. "Tifa?" he asked questioningly, and I stopped to peer into his room. At twelve, he was getting so tall, but he was still very lanky. His messy hair spilled into his sleepy eyes. "Are you all right?"

"Fine, sweetie. Go back to sleep."

"What are you doing?"

"Going to take a shower," I said innocently.

"But Cloud's--oh. _Oh._" He groaned and flopped back on his bed, burying his head under his pillow. "Tifa!"

I smirked. That might keep him from being so nosy in the future. Besides, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't embarrass my kids _sometimes?_ "Night, Denzel."

His only response was another groan.


	2. Fear

**A/N: I was going to leave this story as a one-shot, but I had several more ideas in this particular storyline bouncing around my head, so I'm extending it for at least another couple of parts, until my muse leaves me alone about it. I debated about whether to just upload this as a sequel, then decided it's just better to put all of these in the same story. **

**This next part takes place about four months after the first chapter. Enjoy!**

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_**Fear**_

"Hey, there."

I looked over the bar at the man smiling at me. I knew that smile, knew that tone--the look and sound of a man who was trying to feel me out. It just came with running a bar, though the regulars all knew better. In fact, regulars who had hit on me once upon a time now got a bit protective if anyone tried it.

I _usually_ found it amusing. Though sometimes it did make my job a bit difficult, because violence could ensue if two of my regulars, in for dinner, ganged up on anyone eyeballing me. It was just easier for me to take action myself.

"Hi," I said, smiling in a friendly--but hopefully not encouraging--fashion. "Can I get you something?"

I was having a really bad day today, though, and not feeling particularly friendly. If this guy popped out a comment about something I could get him _besides _alcohol, I was going to be very exasperated. So exasperated, in fact, that my vast pool of patience might just find itself in drought, in which case I might have to smack the man upside the head. Which, of course, was not like me at all, but I had days lately when I didn't feel like _me_. Today had been a long, long day, with more mishaps than anything. I was exhausted and my patience frayed, and I was trying not to show it.

Judging from the sly expression that crossed this guy's face, he _was _about to offer me some proposal not fit for the ears of my ten-year-old daughter handing drinks out to a table of regulars just behind him. So I decided to save him the trouble of speaking, the regulars the trouble of trying to come to my rescue when I didn't need it, and me the trouble of breaking up a fight and kicking people out of the bar. I turned deliberately to reach for a glass on the back wall, giving the customer full view of my body. When I twisted back around, glass in hand, and set it on the bar, his mouth was clamped shut, his expression rather stupefied.

Being eight months pregnant definitely had _some _advantages.

Marlene helped my case then as she came up to the bar and slid an empty tray onto the bar. "Here you go!" she said brightly. She had been extra cheerful today, no doubt because she knew I was having a bad time of it. Of course, she had also probably heard my _conversation _with Cloud late last night, had no doubt seen him leave on his motorcycle at three in the morning, and had definitely heard me crying, because she had come into my room, curling up next to me on the bed in the space usually occupied by him and wrapping her arms around me. "Dix wants an order of fried vegetables with sauce."

I turned toward the little door that led to the kitchen, but Marlene said hastily, "No, I'll get it; I just wanted you to know so you could add it to his tab." She bolted around the bar and pushed into the kitchen, coming out a moment later with the food in hand.

I faced the customer sitting in front of the bar, smiled pleasantly, and said, "So, what will it be?"

He mumbled his order quickly under his breath, and I poured him the drink. His gaze drifted to the wedding band on my hand, then quickly back down to his glass. He didn't stay long; just enough to suck down his alcohol and throw some gil on the counter. He scurried out the door the same time that Denzel came back through it, a bag in one hand.

Denzel grinned at me triumphantly and dropped the bag on the counter. "There you go."

I pounced on it, opening it and pulling out candies specially made by one of the businesses in town. "Mmm. Thank you, Denzel." I had been craving this stuff nonstop for the past month.

He held out a hand, wiggling his fingers expectantly. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he mimicked my expression. "That's the fourth time I've gone down there in three days. I think that deserves a candy or two."

Teasingly, I made a face at him and tossed him two sweets, which he deftly caught and popped into his mouth. His attention was immediately pulled away when Marlene shoved a tray into his arms and said, "Back table's yours."

I watched Denzel roll his eyes and mutter something to her under his breath, and she just turned her nose to the air as though answering was beneath her. I sighed, my eyes automatically going to the windows, but of course, I knew Cloud wasn't out there. I would hear his bike coming before I saw him.

When ten o'clock rolled around, I closed the bar, and after the last customer had left, looked around at the messy area and resigned myself to the chore of cleaning it. Usually I didn't mind at all; in fact, I found wiping tables and washing dishes to be a soothing task. Tonight, however, all I wanted to do was go stand in a hot shower. And maybe drown in it.

_Stop it. This is your fault, too. You know what's going on with him. You know why…_

_Does that make it any better? It's been four years since he came back, damn it. Almost two that we've been married. He's…_

_Scared. He has reason to be. He's been afraid since the beginning; it's just getting worse because the baby will be here soon. You shouldn't have said..._

_I don't care! He doesn't have to be so…_

_Cloud is Cloud. And you love him._

I sighed to myself again. Was it as sign of insanity that I was arguing with myself, or just a mark of exhaustion?

"I'll get that, Marlene," I said, taking a stack of plates out of her hand. "You go get ready for bed."

"But--"

"No 'buts.' You have school tomorrow morning. Go on." I nodded the kids toward the stairs, and after exchanging a brief glance, they headed up them.

I listened to the sounds of water running and feet moving around as they got ready for bed, and then they both came down to give me a hug and tell me good night.

Half an hour later, I was in the middle of scrubbing the dishes with much more force than necessary when I finally heard the unmistakable sound of Fenrir approaching. It grew louder and louder, until it stopped right in front of the bar. I gripped the glass I was washing as the lock clicked and the door opened. I set the glass down, afraid that if I didn't, I might break it in my tight grasp. I looked up to see Cloud standing in front of the door, his head bowed. He looked up a moment later and met my eyes.

I could practically feel the seconds ticking by as we stared at each other silently. I was wavering between anger and guilt, both making me just want to burst into tears. I didn't care for either emotion at the moment--_damn hormones--_and so I simply continued to hold his eyes with my own.

He finally broke the silence when he said, "I'm sorry."

I walked out from behind the bar and into his arms, pressing my face to his shoulder and letting out a deep breath.

Cloud held me closely, his body tense, and we stood there for a long time before I whispered, "It's my fault, too."

I felt him shake his head. "I left. I'm sorry. I had to--I had to clear my head."

"I know. I'm sorry for what I said." I sniffled, and his arms tightened around me. "I-I know you're scared. I know why. It's just--this is all going to be all right."

As if in emphasis, our unborn child chose that moment to start moving around--probably because I was squishing it between us--kicking and elbowing hard enough that Cloud felt it through his leather. He stepped back, his arms still on my shoulders, and looked at my rounded stomach. Thinking, no doubt, of this little life that was full of our hopes and dreams…and our fears and anxieties. More particularly, _his_ fears and anxieties. Fears of what his Jenova cells might have passed on to the child. Fears of what could happen because of it. Fears he had struggled to overcome while raising Denzel and Marlene, but which were different, because there were so many unknowns as to how his genetics would affect this baby.

Still…it was a miracle. Our miracle. We hadn't known whether he would ever even be able to have children, given all of the experimentation done on him. He hadn't ever wanted to find out. But it had happened, and it both thrilled and terrified him.

"Do you think--" He shook his head and closed his eyes, pulling his hands away from me. I let him be, watched him closely, wishing he would look at me so I could read his eyes. He had never been able to hide his emotions in his eyes.

He turned away from me and put his hand on the door handle, and I blinked at him in surprise, but he said, "I've got something for you," and opened the door.

I followed him and stood just outside, staring at the bundle that he had somehow managed to tie to Fenrir. _How _he had managed to keep it on there was another matter entirely.

He untied it from the bike and lifted it carefully into his arms. It was a crib, not put together yet, but I could tell from the pieces that was definitely what it was. It was made of simple, plain wood, but it had a chocobo carved into the headboard of it, and it made me laugh. "Cloud--it's perfect." I held the door open so he could get it in the bar, and as soon as he propped it against the wall I put my arms around him again. "Thank you."

I felt him release a long, slow breath. "Tifa."

"Mm?"

"Do you think the baby will forgive me if I--if I passed on something that's--?"

Tears sprang to my eyes, and I held him for a long moment before speaking. "Yes," I said slowly, "but that's if I thought there was anything that needed to be forgiven. And I don't. If you _did _pass something on, this child will have you to teach them how to handle it. I think that makes it very, very lucky."

He didn't answer, and I didn't have a chance to find out if he would have spoken, because the sound of a throat being cleared brought our attention to the bottom of the stairs. Marlene was standing there, dressed in her pajamas, her hair falling down her back. I noticed that her pajama pants were starting to get too short and realized I was going to have to take her shopping soon. How was it that kids always grew so fast?

Marlene was looking at Cloud, her arms crossed, the expression on her face one of exasperation. "Are you about done making up?"

"I think so," he said dryly.

"Good. Then can someone please help me with my math homework before you decide to do all the kissy-make-up stuff?"

"Kissy--?" He blinked at her.

I frowned at Marlene. "You didn't tell me you had homework."

Marlene just shrugged a little, as if to say helping me was more important. "I only have a couple of problems that I got stuck on. Denzel's already snoring away, so I couldn't ask _him_."

Cloud and I exchanged glances, and he said, "I'll help you, Marlene."

Marlene nodded and bounded up the stairs, and I smiled at Cloud. He was already a great father; maybe having a child genetically his would bring other challenges, but we could deal with that. We could deal with anything together.

"Don't take too long," I called after him as he headed up the stairs. "We've still got that kissy-make-up stuff, remember."

He glanced back at me, and the corners of his mouth turned up in a smile. I smiled back, knowing that everything was going to work out. We would make it work out. Maybe some fears would never entirely disappear, but they could be overcome, and that was enough.

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**Feedback is always lovely. **


	3. Balance

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed. I've really appreciated hearing from all of you! :)**

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_**Balance**_

_Thump._

_Thunk._

CRASH!

I was out of bed, my body tensed and ready for a fight, before I really processed that I was awake and on my feet. Cloud's side of the bed was empty, and as I slipped swiftly and silently to the door, senses alert for danger, I heard his voice coming quietly from downstairs, calm and relaxed. The wary tension drained from my body as the sound of Marlene's voice followed. I breathed a sigh and stepped back into the bedroom. A glance at the clock told me it was morning, but the room was dark because storm clouds covered the sky.

My eyes were automatically drawn to the crib in the corner. It had been there for two weeks now, but I still had not gotten used to seeing it there. It made everything seem somehow more real.

I quickly dressed in one of Cloud's shirts, because it was comfortable and large enough for my stomach to fit into, before stepping out of the room and carefully going down the stairs--carefully because I couldn't see my feet. I stopped at the edge of the bar and blinked at the sight that met my eyes.

Denzel was standing on top of the bar counter, hanging long, colorful ribbons from the ceiling. Marlene was in front of Cloud, and he was tilting her head up and examining the side of her face. There was broken glass on the ground.

"I'm okay," she protested.

Cloud frowned at her. "You hit your head pretty hard. How many fingers am I holding up?" He lifted three fingers in front of her face.

She crossed her eyes and squinted. "Eight."

He sighed and let her go. "Why don't you--_not_ stand on the counter anymore, Marlene."

"Yeah. We all know I'm the one with balance," Denzel said.

"I wouldn't have fallen if your big foot hadn't been in the way," Marlene said primly. "_I _am a dancer. I have balance. _You're_ just a martial artist."

"_Just _a martial artist?" I asked, stepping all the way into the bar.

Marlene looked over at me swiftly. "I didn't mean it like that. You're an _expert _martial artist, Tifa. You have plenty of balance."

"Not lately," Denzel muttered under his breath. "I think being so big throws her off center."

"So big?" I repeated, raising my eyebrows.

Cloud cleared his throat, and both kids stopped talking and looked at me before Marlene burst out, "Happy birthday, Tifa!" She leapt over the shattered glass--quite gracefully, as if to prove that three years of dance lessons _had _actually had an effect--and flung her arms around me. Well, mostly around me. As far as her arms could reach around my stomach.

"Thank you, Marlene," I replied, squeezing her. I was twenty-seven today. For some reason, that made me feel old. It really wasn't, but maybe it was because I had a son who was thirteen, a daughter who was ten and a half (she wouldn't let anyone forget the '_and a half,_'), and a baby on the way.

It didn't help that said thirteen-year-old had come home from school the day before, fidgeting nervously for a while before he finally approached me with, "Hey, Mom…there's this girl…"

All I had been able to do was stare at him for the longest moment, sure that I knew the girl in question. And all I had been able to think was, _no, no. He's not supposed to be this grown-up yet!_ _He's supposed to think kissing girls is gross and…and…_

"We made you a cake," Marlene said, rolling back and forth from her toes to her heels. "_And _we cleaned up the mess."

"What time did you get up this morning?" I asked.

"Early," Denzel said. He leapt off the counter and slipped around the glass to give me a hug and say, "Happy birthday," before grabbing a broom and sweeping up the mess.

Cloud was standing there, just watching me with his faint smile. He stepped toward me and gently kissed my forehead. "I hope you got enough sleep." His tone had a slight warning in it.

I knew the reason. "Why? Oh, wait. Let me guess. Yuffie's throwing me a 'surprise' party, which means lots of drunk, loud friends and a very late night."

"Mm. Sounds about right."

"And what time is Yuffie dragging everyone over here?"

His eyes glinted with amusement. "Eight."

The kids had pulled out more decorations and were busy putting them around the bar. I smiled at them, then went back upstairs to brush my teeth and throw some water on my face before returning to the bar. I looked at Cloud, and he nodded at me. "We'll be back in a little while," he told Denzel and Marlene.

They knew exactly where we were going, so they barely gave a nod and a wave and continued decorating. I followed Cloud outside, walking over to Fenrir. He waited until I was settled on the bike before he swung in front of me, revving up the engine and swinging out onto the road. I held onto him tightly, closing my eyes and enjoying the wind whipping my hair back, content to listen to the roar of Fenrir and feel my cheek pressed against his back. Though the clouds above us threatened rain, none fell yet, though I wouldn't have minded if it had.

Before long, we came to a stop in front of the church. Her church. It looked the same as it always did, though it had been a year since I had last seen it. I took a deep breath and stepped through the doors. Cloud followed me as I crossed to the pool in the middle of the floor. The flowers floated in the tranquil water, and I felt my muscles relaxing. I crouched down at the edge of the water. Aches that I hadn't even realized I had, and others that I had been painfully aware of, seemed to fade as I gently touched it with my fingertips.

I closed my eyes. It was always so easy to feel her presence here, to remember her smile, to recall her gentle words. I had been coming to the church every single birthday since I turned twenty-three, because I needed to remember. I would not be here if it was not for Aerith. She had saved us all, and then saved my world again when she sent the healing waters that cured Cloud and Denzel, and so many others.

"Hi," I whispered. "Things have changed a bit since I was here last. I'm sure you know that." Tears welled up behind my closed eyes and slipped through my eyelids, trickling down my face. "This is another life you gave us. If not for you…" Cloud would not have been healed. We never would have gotten married. I wouldn't have a son asking me about girls, or a baby coming. "Thank you." Some things just made me realize, more than ever, that life hung in a very delicate balance, and Aerith--she had kept us from falling so many times.

I opened my eyes and gazed into the water. Cloud was still standing off to the side, close enough to keep me company and far enough that he was just out of earshot. "Yuffie keeps telling me I'm having a boy," I finally said softly. "I think she's wrong. I think it's a girl. And if it is, we're naming her Aerith."

I sat quietly for a moment longer, and then pushed to my feet. I smiled at Cloud, stepping toward the door and giving him his own moment to be alone at the water's edge. I waited by the door for him, and when he came over, he took my hand and held it tightly. We stood silently for a minute, and then I squeezed his hand and we slowly stepped out of the church.


	4. Hope

**A/N: Huge thanks to all my reviewers!**

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_**Hope**_

I was in a haze of red. There was pain and confusion, and I was vaguely aware that it was a result of blood loss and drugs being pumped through my body. It made my mind a total fog, and I teetered on the brink of oblivion. There was only the knowledge that something was horribly wrong, and I was terrified because something was happening with my child…

…our child…

…but everything was a blur and I wasn't sure why it was happening or how I had ended up here. I could hardly see anything because I was fighting to keep my eyes open, but everything I could see was gray and white--the flat, plain walls of the Shinra Hospital. People in masks swarmed my vision, their voices babbling words that my brain refused to process. I caught a word here or there, but nothing came together.

"--bleeding profusely--"

"--surgery--"

"--don't know--"

"--baby is--"

"--save her--"

I fought hard, fought to understand, fought because I had to, even though there was agony and blood and terror and I couldn't hold on. I was slipping into blackness, but then his voice, so much clearer than the others, snapped through my haze. "Tifa!"

I was distressed because it was thick with fear, so much fear and panic. I sought him out, locked onto his eyes…his beautiful eyes, right now filled with desperation. "Tifa. Tifa, hold on." His eyes were screaming at me, pleading _don't leave me, don't leave me--_

My tenuous grip on awareness was sliding away fast. I tried to speak and had a hard time moving my tongue, but I forced the words out, unsure if they even sounded intelligible. "Cloud. Don't…scared…" My eyes were closing, and I felt pressure on my hand. He was squeezing it. Or I was squeezing his. I couldn't really tell. "Cloud…"

His face was the last thing I saw before I lost my hold on consciousness.

--:--

I ached, mostly in my abdomen, and as I slowly became aware, I was hit with a realization that sucked the breath right out of me and made my eyes snap open. Gasping, I reached for my stomach, suddenly feeling horribly, terrifyingly empty.

My baby was gone.

Recollection was swiftly returning. I was still groggy, but I knew now what had happened. I recalled the labor that had started when I was already a week overdue. The stabbing pains that had grown worse and worse, the trip to the hospital, and then the terrible agony that I had somehow known was not just normal labor pain. The hemorrhaging…blood everywhere…the doctor prepping me for emergency surgery, talking about "losing the mother and baby…"

I was alive, but…

There was a chair pulled up to the bed, and he was there, asleep with his head tilted to the side. I stared at him for a long moment, my throat tight with fear, and I was finally able to force one word past my lips. "Cloud."

His eyes snapped open immediately, his gaze locking onto mine, relief filling his face. We stared at each other for a moment, and then he breathed, "Tifa."

"Cloud…the baby?" My voice sounded thick and heavy, and I knew I was still drugged. I touched my stomach, and felt nothing but a surge of pain as my fingers pressed against a fresh wound. A surgical wound.

He opened his mouth, but it was a moment before the words came out. "She's all right."

My insides crumbled with relief, and tears slipped down my cheeks. "She," I breathed in a whisper. I had another daughter. Where was she? What did she look like? What had happened? Once I had started bleeding, everything was a blur.

He nodded, a short, almost numb nod, and I saw the emotions in his eyes, so muddled that I didn't know where to start sorting them out. Fear, relief, panic, elation. He stared at me for the longest moment, and then his head dropped as he leaned forward, his face colliding with my arm. He was trembling, and I reached over with my free hand, holding him as best I could from my prone position. "Hey," I said softly. "I'm here."

He didn't say anything, and I finally asked, "What happened?"

"You--" His voice was so heavy, and I knew from the trouble he was having that it had been catastrophic. "You almost died," he finally said. He lifted his head, meeting my eyes, and I wanted to cry at the look on his face. "Both of you. Once they--once they got her out, she was fine, but--they weren't sure they would be able to save you." He pulled away from me completely, swinging to his feet in one smooth motion.

"I'm all right."

"You--" He shook his head, his gaze drifting toward the floor. "I--" There was something in his voice that was very old and familiar, but which I had not heard in a very long time.

Guilt.

I reached out an arm toward him, which sent a sharp pain through my stomach, and I winced. "Cloud. Come here."

He looked at me, and it was there in his eyes, too. "I--"

"Cloud. Please."

He finally turned and perched on the edge of the bed, staring at his knees.

"This isn't your fault." He just shook his head, and I repeated with emphasis, "This _isn't your fault._"

"Tifa." His eyes found mine again, and he said, "This _is_ my fault. I--"

"Married me? Had sex with me? Got me pregnant? This could have happened to anyone. Sometimes there are complications in childbirth."

His eyes flashed, and he faced me fully. "This happened because of _me,_" he said, a tinge of anger in his voice. "This happened because of _who I am _and because of what I _did _pass on to our--to her."

"To our daughter. She has a name," I said quietly. I thought I was beginning to understand what might be going through his mind, and it made my heart ache.

He spoke after a moment, his voice getting more tense and angry with each word. "She has Jenova cells in her, Tifa. As far as the doctors can tell, when you went into labor, it--it did something to her. She had a reaction because of her Jenova cells and it put her in distress and almost _killed_ both of you." His hands were clenched into fists, and I could see him shaking, feel it where his back brushed against my leg. "If I did that to her before she was even _born--_if I did it to _you--_"

"Cloud."

He just shook his head. I closed my eyes tightly for a moment, reaching out blindly and gripping his arm. He tensed, and I clenched my fingers around his wrist, not giving him the chance to pull away. Opening my eyes, I asked, "Where are Denzel and Marlene?"

"Downstairs with Barret. They refused to go home."

"Where is Aerith?"

Another moment of silence, and then, "The doctors are watching her. And…Shera's been here. Holding her."

"Cloud…have you even seen her?"

I knew the answer before he even looked at me. No. He hadn't even seen her. Held her, talked to her, touched her…because he was afraid. Afraid and blaming himself.

"How long?" I whispered. "How long have I been here?"

"Two days."

I took a deep breath and immediately wished I hadn't, because it _really _hurt. "I think it's time to meet our daughter."

--:--

I got a visit from a doctor I vaguely recognized first, checking up on me and asking me some questions, helping me to carefully sit propped against some pillows. When he was finally gone, Shera stepped into the room, holding a bundle of white blankets in her arms. She smiled at me, walking over and slowly lowering the bundle down on my legs.

My breath caught in my throat, and tears sprang to my eyes. A tiny face poked out of the blankets, eyes closed, a shock of dark hair covering her head. It was like looking at a glimpse of perfection.

"She's beautiful," Shera whispered, and gently pressed her hand against mine. "I'm so glad you're all right."

"Thank you. For--" I swallowed. I knew Shera had her hands full with her own kids.

Shera waved a hand. "It's good for Cid to have the kids round the clock sometimes." Her eyes darted from me to Cloud, and she said, "I'll leave you alone for a bit." Smiling again, she stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Slowly, I ran my fingers over my daughter's face, studying perfect little features, her tiny hands and fingers. When she shifted in her sleep and yawned, I realized I was crying, silent tears dripping down my face. "Cloud." I turned my face up to his, blinking to clear my vision. He was standing beside the bed, staring down at her as though he had never seen anything quite like her before. He took a step closer, almost involuntarily.

"She--"

I waited.

"She looks just like you."

She was so small, her little chest rising and falling, so wonderfully alive and warm on my legs. I couldn't even begin to express the love I had for her. She was the culmination of all of my hopes, the embodiment of my love for Cloud, and his for me. She was the dream I had never been sure would come true.

"Cloud," I murmured. I gently lifted her off my lap, stunned at how small and fragile she felt in my hands. "Here."

He took a step backward, a look of terror in his eyes. "Tifa…"

"Cloud."

"What if I--"

"You're not going to hurt her."

"I already have."

I met his eyes steadily. "Cloud."

He sighed, but slowly stepped back up to the bed and sat down next to me. Before he could protest further, I carefully set her in his arms. He shot me a wide-eyed look as I let go. He sat perfectly still, as though he was afraid he would break her if he moved, looking so awkward, and the sight was heartbreakingly beautiful to me.

I wasn't sure how long we sat there before he spoke to her, his voice so soft I barely heard it. "I'm sorry." I didn't know whether he was apologizing for her Jenova cells or for not holding her until this moment.

She started to wake up then, wiggling in his arms and peeking open blue eyes. If Cloud hadn't been moving before, he was an absolute stone now, staring at her as her eyes moved around his face.

"Tifa. Take her."

I frowned at him, but he wasn't looking at me.

"_Tifa._" There was panic filtering into his voice now, and my frown deepened as I carefully took Aerith out of his arms. As soon as she was safely in my grasp, he stood to his feet, not really looking at me.

"I'm scared, too," I whispered.

He didn't answer for a moment, and then finally said, "It's hard enough with Denzel and Marlene." He gazed down at her again. "I already want to kill anyone who thinks of hurting her."

"Which is exactly how you feel about Marlene and Denzel."

"Yes."

I smiled. "Then I think everything will be just fine. They've turned out pretty well, don't you think?"

"I didn't almost kill them."

"You didn't almost kill Aerith. _Or_ me," I said firmly. "You can't blame yourself for what happened. For what _could _have happened."

He let out a long, slow breath.

"Please," I whispered. "Don't do this to yourself. Don't. We've been through this before. And…don't you think that she was worth it? Look at her. Look. She's _us, _Cloud; she's beautiful and she's ours, and I would do it all over again."

He shot me a wide-eyed look and said, "I don't ever want to do this again."

Of course, we hadn't _meant _to get pregnant the first time, and I knew that the possibility of going through this again had to be scaring him.

"That's not what I meant. I meant I would do it all over again for her." I smiled down at her. "Besides," I added. "Three is a good number."

He gazed at me, and for a moment, I wondered if he was going to walk out of the room. To my relief, he instead chose to sit back down on the edge of the bed. Tentatively, he reached out a finger and touched Aerith's hand. She curved her fingers around his finger, and he eventually said, "Yes."

I raised my eyebrows at him, and he clarified, "Yes, I think she was worth it." A pause, and then, "I still don't want to do this ever again. I don't think I could--" He shook his head. "I can't lose you."

I took his free hand and squeezed it. I didn't have a chance to answer, because the door suddenly burst open, and Marlene was running across the room. Denzel was right behind her, with Barret bringing up the rear.

"Tifa!" Marlene carefully put her arms around me, her cheek pressed against mine. "Are you all right? Really? The doctor said you were awake. We've been so scared."

I wrapped one arm tightly around her, the other cradling Aerith, and looked up at Denzel, whose solemn eyes met mine for a moment before he moved in for a hug, too. I felt him sigh into my hair, and though he didn't speak, tension drained out of his shoulders. "I'm fine," I murmured. "We're all okay."

"I called Yuffie. She and Nanaki are closing the bar and coming over."

Yuffie and Nanaki had been in charge of the bar? Or had it been Nanaki trying to manage the bar _and _Yuffie?

Barret stood nearby, his arms crossed, and he nodded at me. "Knew you wouldn't go without a fight," he told me.

I smiled at him and held onto all three of my children for a long moment, until first Denzel and then Marlene pulled away. "Can I hold her?" Marlene whispered, her eyes fixed on the baby.

I willingly handed Aerith over to her delighted sister and leaned back on the pillows with a sigh. My body was hurt and exhaustion was seeping through my bones, but I was utterly content to be here, with my family.

My eyes met Cloud's as he continued to stand next to the bed. I probed him with my eyes, and he averted his gaze for a moment, watching Marlene fuss over Aerith. Finally, he looked back at me and smiled.

I knew that there was still going to be fear and anxiety, but I also knew that there was hope and the promise of life, of the life we had built together with our children. Life was never easy; no one ever knew what was going to happen from day to day. But it was worth living, and I was going to live it to the fullest for as much time as I was given.

I smiled as Marlene leaned into Cloud's side, Aerith still cradled in her arms. He hesitated, looking down at the two little girls for a long moment, and finally just wrapped his arms around both of them.

They were still standing like that when the door opened again and Yuffie came bounding in. "Tifa? Are you awake? Red! She's awake! Vincent and Cid will be by later, Tifa, and boy, does Cid owe me!"

"Why does he owe you?" Denzel asked her.

"I won the bet on when the baby would be born. He was sure she'd be early, but I knew that Tifa's patient with everything, so why not being pregnant? Ooooh, she looks just like you, Tifa! Here, I want to hold her!"

Yuffie had been spinning in circles as she talked, and I wondered if she would be able to keep her balance while holding my baby. Cloud apparently had some concerns, because he half-stepped in front of Marlene and said, "It's--"

He was cut off when Aerith opened her mouth in a long, piercing wail. Yuffie immediately held up her hands and took a step back. "Never mind. I'll hold her when she's happy."

"Here, Tifa." Marlene carefully lifted the now-screaming, wriggling baby back into my arms.

I gazed down into her shrieking face, then around at my family and friends, and I couldn't help but smile. "Welcome to life, Aerith."


	5. Family

**A/N: Sorry this took so long! My real life has been absolutely insane, and this is also one of several stories I'm writing right now. This is the last chapter to this story, so…enjoy! Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed!!**

* * *

_**Family**_

The bar was quiet, the only noise coming from the clank of the dishes as I washed them and the low murmur of voices from one of the tables. I was doing my best to stay awake long enough to at least get the dishes clean. It had been another long, tiring day at the bar. I had even managed to spill beer on the floor twice, knocking over one cup in my exhaustion and pouring the second one too quickly so that it overflowed.

The one occupied table was covered in papers, but it was homework spread across the table, not the maps and charts that Cloud had always used to plan out delivery routes. It had been months since he had started keeping the delivery service very close to home, which allowed him nights like this. Nights to spend with the kids, helping with homework or just spending time with them.

Denzel and Marlene had been helping me keep the bar running during the two exhausting months following Aerith's birth, and Denzel's friend Aria--a girl who had once dragged a moogle toy around everywhere--had been conscripted to help, too. Denzel's idea, of course, as soon as I said I was going to need more assistance if I was going to keep the bar open while taking care of a newborn.

Of course, by now, Denzel's friend (and, I knew, not-so-secret crush) had already become a permanent fixture around the place. I was glad to be able to give her something to do after school, and a little gil to save. Though she lived in a nearby children's home, she had started staying late to do her homework with Denzel and Marlene after she helped out in the bar.

I sighed as I watched my son give her very surreptitious glances out of the corner of his eye as he wrote a paper. Cloud was pointing something out to Marlene, using one foot to gently rock the little carrier seat on the floor, where Aerith was wide awake and waving her tiny fists around, undoubtedly gearing up for another night of keeping me up, and by default, Cloud and Denzel, since they were such light sleepers. After a week of Denzel dragging himself downstairs for breakfast red-eyed and falling asleep in his cereal, he had started wearing earplugs and sleeping downstairs on the couch. None of us were sure how Marlene managed to sleep through all of Aerith's wailing and screeching.

When the dishes were washed, I slid into a seat beside Marlene and squeezed her shoulders, then rested my head back against the chair and closed my eyes, loving the sounds of my family around me. I slipped into a half-awake, half-asleep daze, only stirring when Cloud said my name.

I opened my eyes and saw the kids standing up, gathering books and papers. Cloud was holding Aria's bag, waiting for her to put her jacket on so he could walk her back to the children's home. I stood, swaying slightly on my feet, and went into the kitchen, pulling one of three lunch bags out of the fridge. I brought it out and pressed it into Aria's hand. She had tried to argue with me the first few times I gave her lunch for school, but I told her firmly she more than earned it. I had no idea what they fed the kids over at the home, and I felt better knowing she was eating meals that were good for her.

"Thank you, Tifa."

"You're welcome. Good night, sweetie. See you tomorrow."

"Okay."

My forehead pinched into a frown as she headed for the door, and Cloud and I exchanged glances. He nodded briefly at me before following her out the door, and as expected, as soon as the door closed behind them, Marlene immediately jumped all over Denzel about how much he _"looooved" _her.

I broke up the potential argument, even though I did find Denzel's red face really sweet. "All right, kids. Bedtime."

Both of them headed upstairs to brush their teeth, and I walked over to Aerith's carrier, surprised to see that she was sound asleep. I smiled and whispered, "We'll have to have your daddy rock you to sleep more often, hm?" I carefully lifted her out of the seat, afraid she might wake up, and was astonished when I was able to carry her upstairs and lay her down in the little crib next to my bed without waking her.

The instant I was sure that Marlene and Denzel were ready for bed and tucked in (even though Denzel insisted he was way too old to be tucked in), I collapsed in an exhausted heap on my bed and was asleep about five seconds later.

I didn't even wake up when Cloud opened the door downstairs and came in, which was a mark of how tired I really was; I only realized he was home when he climbed into bed next to me. I moaned and rolled into him, sighing against his chest. I would have been asleep again had he not spoken quietly, "Tifa?"

"Mm?"

"Aria."

I opened my eyes and focused on him. "Yeah."

"I know we don't have a lot of room. But she's already been spending most of her days here the last two months. I just hate taking her back to that place every night, and with what happened this morning--"

"I know." She had arrived at the bar that afternoon with a horrible black eye and some scrapes and bruises, and it had been Denzel who told me flatly that she had been hurt by some of the other kids at the orphanage before school that morning. "I was thinking the same thing today."

We looked at each other for a moment, and then Cloud nodded once. "We can ask her tomorrow."

"Yes." I yawned. "Though we're going to have to keep a close eye on her and Denzel as they get older, or they'll end up eloping and I'll become a grandmother when I'm thirty."

That got a half-chuckle out of him. I closed my eyes contentedly, only to snap them open once more as Aerith started fussing. "I knew it was too good to last," I said, resignedly sitting up and twisting to get out of bed.

"It's my turn," Cloud said. As our baby began to wail, he picked her up, and I curled back up on the bed. "Rest," he told me firmly. He opened the bedroom door, only to reveal Marlene standing just outside, one fist poised to knock, the other hand pressed to her stomach.

I sat up again. "Marlene? What is it, sweetie?"

"I'm not…feeling so well," she said, and then promptly threw up, just missing Cloud's feet.

As I slid out of bed to take care of Marlene and clean up the mess, I knew for sure I wasn't going to be getting any sleep that night. And that was okay. I really didn't mind the sleepless nights or the fatigue. I had come so close to never having any of this at all, and if a little sleep-deprivation was the cost of being a mother and having a family, I was more than willing to pay.

I took Marlene back to her room, settling her on her bed and going downstairs to get a bucket in case she was sick again. Cloud was walking around the bar with Aerith, who was perfectly content as long as he didn't stop moving. Denzel was already asleep on the couch. Well, at least _one _person in the house might sleep tonight.

One thing was absolutely certain: life was an adventure. It threw the unexpected at us; it gave us sorrow and pain, beauty and joy. It made us laugh and cry, but it made us _feel, _and whether it was bad or good, it meant that we were alive and that we were part of the world around us.

I went into Marlene's room and set the bucket on one side of her, sitting on her other side and smoothing one hand rhythmically over her hair. "Tifa?" she whispered, her eyes half-closed.

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Yes, I thought in contented exhaustion. Sometimes life gave us wonderful, heartwarming moments.

"Tifa?"

"Yes?"

"I think I have to--" She rolled over and threw up again, missing the bucket entirely and getting it all over her bed. "Uhhhh," she groaned. "I'm sorry!"

Of course, life was messy and smelly sometimes, too.

Still, no matter what it brought, it was my life to live, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world.

_**-fin-**_


End file.
